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The nakedness of surrendering - seeing your shadows and showing them light

Updated: Apr 13


Modern life makes it near impossible to slow down and release, and most of us have accumulated stressors and stress responses as a direct result of that. Growing up, we are taught a lot, but not often, are we taught how to cope with the rapidly changing modern experiences and pressures of the Human society.


Up until now, we have been grown in a world consumed by patriarchal dominance, grasping for material power and losing our connection to the natural world, and ultimately ourselves.

The feminine essence that resides in both male and female identities have long been suppressed.

Men have been taught to shun their emotions, hide from the truth of pain and disregard their ever-growing creativity unless they are being praised by the gain of material possession.

Women, on the other had have been taught this and more, with toxic expectations designed to muzzle and restrain, to be seen as property rather than a divine, multifaceted, spiritual being.

Growing up I had mixed views on the roles of gender norms, constantly battling with the want to be taken seriously and the need to flow in my ever-changing creativity. Fleeting from one project to the next, needing more rest than work, sleeping for long hours, and waking only to experience the light of day for moments at a time. Each night I grew closer to the sensuality of the moon, knowing instinctively that this is where my power resides, where my creations dwell in the nakedness of surrendering.

But modern life beats you so cruelly into sacrificing your flow state for the structure of modern-day community.


However, it can also teach you balance and force you into creating something so potent that it can exist within both realities and pave the way for more expansive & communal creations. Ultimately, the goal is, to find your own perfect balance, for you to create a new reality for yourself, where you can exist wholly upon the earth, inside and out. But how do we go about creating balance when we’ve had so little of it?

Catering to the parts of us that are almost untouched.


Well, first we cater entirely to her, to our feminine. Our flow state, our shadows, our creations that want to be birthed.

To be gentle and patient, a true nurturer for ourselves.


So, how can your nurture yourself? How can you use your shadows to create light? How can you dwell in the nakedness of surrendering? To create, to flow, to be.

First, you must get clear on what you want, what is important to you and how you desire to show up in life. What beauty do you want to create? How do you want to feel? What kind of life do you want to create?

And then, you must clear out all that does not support this – whether it be emotionally, physically, or spiritually & in most cases it is all three. Clear out all that debris that is clogging up your auric and physical space, and preventing your beautiful, magnificent, growth. Clear out all that does not serve your highest good.


How do I do this? You may ask...


Luckily for you, I have written a few things down, exercises and journal prompts if you wish to have a look.


To get started I want for us to focus our attention to how we now wish to show up for ourselves. How will you begin to cater to your truest needs? How do you even discover what your truest needs are if you don’t already know? How will you gift yourself permission for true self-expression?


Who is your wild?


shall we meet them... ?

Consider how do they dress, how they move, how they interact with others and themselves? How do they view themselves and come across to others? How do they spend their mornings and nights? What do they learn and love to talk about? What do they teach to others? What do they create and what does their energy bring? How do they love? You could also consider what foods they eat and media they consume? Do they do things simply because they feel good? What feels good? Take some time, as much time as you need to really consider and journal upon these thoughts.


What life do you want to manifest for yourself?


Once you have done this it is time for you to think of the opposite factors to your desires. How have you been blocking your blessings? What negative things do you tell yourself, even subconsciously? What behavioural patterns do you have that keep you in continuous repetition of toxic behaviours? What past actions do you need to forgive yourself for or what protective behaviours have you adopted in light of trauma that have now outlived their purpose? What toxicity do you consume? What toxicity do you perpetuate? How do you fail to show up for yourself?


How do you prevent your own growth?


  • On a separate piece of paper, journal on these. But do not dwell. In fact. Thank these patterns for their lessons and for the purpose they once served fold it up and put it to one side.

  • Open your windows and re read your first list – the list of things you desire, the things you are going to become, the things you are becoming. Read this list with pure intention, consciously thanking each realisation when you have it.

  • Stand tall in your power, hands out stretched by your sides, take in a few deep breaths.

  • And with gratitude in your heart, grab a black bag & start cleaning.


Clear out everything in your home that does not align with your highest desires. Clutter makes it near impossible to offer yourself growth, clutter of the mind, body and energetic field, especially your physical one. Your physical space holds on to stagnant energy & past traumas just as much as your mind and body do, therefore, it is vital to clear your home and physical often and with intention. I’m sure we’ve all felt that relief of waking up to a freshly cleaned bedroom, the smell of new sheets, the feeling of clarity and potential. But this potential becomes clouded when we don’t clear the space to welcome new blue skies.


What in your home are you holding onto that is attached to painful memories? What serves no purpose or use and neglects to generate feelings of true joy? What can you part with that will free up the space you need to grow in a healthy, loving environment? Your home should be your sanctuary, a place to feel safe, luxurious, and is gifting of true conscious relaxation. When I talk about luxury in this sense, I don’t mean in to be in the material sense, although it certainly can, for me, luxury also means a sense of peace, a deep, sensuous enjoyment of your surroundings, the luxury of exhaling into bliss, whatever your bliss may be.

You can clear out any junk foods and old, unloved clothes, anything in your home without purpose that doesn’t bring a feeling of joy when you hold it. Clear out anything attached to painful memories or anything you feel prevents growth. What is not aligned to your highest potential? Do you have a lot of plastic junk or things that take up space that could be used for something more worthwhile?

While you're clearing out, use this opportunity to get a little more organised, you could create designated spaces for things that are of importance to you, perhaps a space to meditate or create art, maybe re organise your kitchen if cooking is what you like to do, if adorning your body is important perhaps try rearranging your wardrobe to be colour coordinated and aesthetically pleasing. It's amazing what a good aesthetic can do for your mental wellbeing. Whatever is of importance, prioritise it. Prioritise your joy.

It’s also really helpful if you play some upbeat, energetic songs that you can dance and sing along to as you clear out your space, this will help to replace old energies with new positive ones, not just in your home, but in your body too.


To your trash bag, I would love for you to also add your piece of paper containing all that does not serve you. These too must be released. But do this act with extra care, extra consciousness, acknowledge all that you’re letting go and bravery.

Take some deep breaths, smile & stand in your power.


Once you have done releasing the old, you can now take a nice long cleansing salt bath and smudge your home with some wonderful cleansing herbs or incense.

You can use Rosemary for personal purification, lavender for healing and home blessings, rose buds for love, thyme for spiritual growth and courage, bay leaves for wish magic & magnolia for passion. You can make a cleansing potpourri bowl, an incense blend, smudge stick or a simple window hanging. Choose with intuition, and they certainly don’t have to be these herbs that I have mentioned, create whatever called to, don’t overthink, just let yourself flow.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly, MOVE YOUR BODY! dance, swim, run, do yoga, find whatever exercise works best for you. Just be sure to MOVE MOVE MOVE, our bodies are designed to do just that, they long for that connection, that freedom, that constant production of dreamy endorphins. they harbour so much of your trauma and past experiences, they are home to all that you feel, think, believe. So, get out of your head and into your body, move until you feel moved, move until you feel freedom.

move until you are one.

Sending an abundance of love, happiness and healing your way,

blessed be,

Stacey x

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